Category: Personal Stories

To feel lost, sad, and lonely after the death of a loved one seems a natural way to grieve.  But sometimes, guilt feeling, trauma, confusion, shame, and rejection are overlooked.  When not given proper attention, the real grieving turns out to be complicated that it could lead to depression, PTSD, and sometimes suicide.

 

Complicated Grief

There are many stages to grieving.  When someone close to you died (often unexpectedly), you can suffer from complicated grief, which is a much stronger and serious grieving.  It may cause you to avoid going out, attending social activities.  You may have thoughts or wishes that you should have died, too.

“Individuals may avoid discussing the loss as well as avoid people or places that are associated with their grief. This experience can put an individual in a vulnerable position with regard to their mental health.” Tali Yuz Berliner, Psy.D. said. A person suffering from complicated grief needed added support and healing resources to cope with his loss.  If left untreated, it can leave him with a long-term functioning impairment.

My sister-in-law decided to live overseas with her new family, leaving her loving father in their home alone.  After 10 years, she came back to be with him.  Seeing how her father has aged, she felt a pinch of pain inside of her.  After a few months, he had a heart attack and died.  She blamed herself for not being able to spend much longer time with him.  Months had passed, but she’s still grieving over the loss.  She refused to go back to Canada, and just requested the family to move back here.  She would suddenly burst into tears almost every day, blaming herself.  She’s even neglecting her responsibilities to her two kids.

“The closer your connection and the more intense the loss, the more profound the emptiness may feel.” Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD explains. Her guilt for not being able to take care of her father interferes with her coping process.  She started saying things to her daughter, and even contemplating suicide.  We decided to bring her to a psychotherapist to address whatever is happening in her.  She was referred to undergo complicated grief treatment.

 

Guilt And Adjustment

Guilt is the primary factor why my sis-in-law suffers from complicated bereavement.  She feels worthless and has thoughts that she has done nothing for her father.  Despite the fact that she lived abroad for 10 years, she finds it hard to adjust to the fact that she has to go on without her father to take care of.

While in Canada, she also suffered mild depression brought by being away from her family.  She got better in time through meds and therapy.  This could have made her situation worse.

 

Treatment And Suicide Prevention

Antidepressants are recommended to address the depression that resulted from the grief.  She is undergoing talk therapy so she can express her deepest emotions with someone who listens without judgment.  It’s essential that she is surrounded by people who will not argue or yell at her so she’ll not feel threatened.

 

The focus of her treatment now is to prevent her from acting out on her suicidal thoughts.  Somebody has to be with her 24/7.   We are making sure that she is surrounded by familiar people (friends and relatives) that care for her.  Her husband and daughters shower her with attention and make her feel loved and needed.  That way, she may be able to get back to her usual self.

Losing someone dear to you is hard, and even harder to see people close to you suffering so much because of that loss which no one can prevent from happening.

Whether her being suicidal is due to the chemical imbalance in her brain, guilt feeling, or adjustment difficulty, the fact that she needs help should not be ignored.

If someone you know is suffering from severe grief or severe depression, encourage her to seek help because this is something no one should take for granted. Remember, “Many people who end up killing themselves have mentioned suicide to someone directly or in directly, so take them seriously.” Torey C. Richards, LMHC said.

Are you aware that 1 in 15 persons has considered suicide as an alternative to ending their sufferings in this world? Did you know that the suicide rate a few years ago has almost doubled nowadays? This information is a clear indication that mental wellness is not a joke. Just because someone appears to be happy on the outside does not necessarily mean that he is happy on the inside.

 

 

Continue reading “A Guide To Achieving Excellent Mental Wellness”

Getting through with all the stress of losing someone is hard and the fact that you have to understand the painful experience, you will need to stay focused on the different kind of recovery you will need. Losing the most special someone in your life is devastating, and the pain is immeasurable. However, life has to go on even if it’s difficult. It is what the living needs to do. Time will not make things better because it will only teach you how to accept things for what they are.

Even with the death of your husband or wife, it is significant to remember that you are not alone. It is a way for you to handle the grieving process successfully. The family, friends, your sons, and daughters (if you have any) will give you all the reasons you need to start your life again and live wholeheartedly. Continue reading “Losing The Love Of Your Life – The Brief Therapy”

Grief is a form of healing that differs in patterns. It is a combination of a variety of emotions that an individual can probably contain. Though grieving is the process of recovery from the loss of a loved one, it carries all the expressions that can cause damaging effects if not thoroughly handled. Mourning, on the other hand, is a state where an individual tries to internalize and understand all the emotions he gets from that particular sad experience. Continue reading “Psychiatry: Extended Mourning Can Become A Mental Illness”

 

 

The loss of someone you valued the most is one the various emotional struggles you could ever imagine. It is when you will undergo the process of self-healing, and it could probably take a while. Depression is something that will eventually make you feel weak and vulnerable from all sorts of negative energy that might somehow lead to clear and unpredictable bad decisions when it goes untreated.

How To Determine Depression

It is essential to understand that depression is something you should not ignore. You might experience symptoms that show warning signs and diagnosis that you might have to address as early as possible. Here are some of the signs that will determine if you are having depression and anxiety after losing someone you love.

 

Extreme sadness: The feeling of emptiness and anxiety is one of the most common signs of depression. It is proven to have a connection with the relentless loneliness that will try to separate you from the real world. The emotion will try to create barriers that will hinder you from a fast recovery that might create difficulties that can lead to mental health issues. “Loneliness is an epidemic, We’re the most socially connected society, yet so many people experience extreme loneliness.” psychologist Amy Sullivan, PsyD. explains.

 

Loss of apathy on things: The attitude of losing interest in things shows a significant impact on a person’s behavior. The psychological motor will soon have problems dealing with things that complicate the desire of a person to do the things that he likes and lose focus on the things that he needs.

 

Overeating or loss of appetite: Though these signs are unnoticeable, overeating and appetite loss plays a part in determining depression. An appetite disturbance has become the person’s means of escape when they feel miserable and frustrated about their loss. Interfering with a healthy habit has something to do with psychological imbalance caused by extreme anxiety.

 

Pessimism: People that have depression cannot contain the negative energy. They always focus on the unconstructive side of every situation. They always make excuses, they don’t consider solutions, they avoid decision making, they over think all the time, they create additional problems, they don’t think clearly at all, and they don’t try to resolve the issue.

 

Irritability: The behavioral problem when it comes to a person’s longing for recovery has become an issue. Simple means of irritability can determine the symptoms of depression. “Hostility and irritability are also linked to a higher likelihood of having other mental illness, like anxiety. Other emotions such as sadness, shame, or helplessness often underlie the irritability, but irritability is what shows up on the surface.” Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD. elaborates. He does not feel comfortable about anything and somehow lost the urge to maintain his balance. Over time, he changes his attitude towards the people around him too.

 

Fatigue: This is merely one of the basics of depression. It is when a person feels weak and exhausted even without doing anything. The brain functions twice as much as it should when under the pressure of stress and grief. The lack of energy comes from mental, physical, and emotional struggle.

 

Attempts and suicidal thoughts: A person with a clear sign of depression has the habit of thinking about self-inflicting harm. It is considered the most dangerous observable level that affects a person’s way of thinking. “Not all people who have thoughts of suicide end up acting on those thoughts. But for those who do, generally there is deep emotional pain combined with a belief that things will never improve.” Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC said.

 

 

Depression is a disorder that has something to do with grief. These common signs and symptoms may vary depending on the type of person and his capability to overcome stress. It is always advisable that you still take considerations of the things that you do after losing someone. Or if you know a person who is experiencing these symptoms, don’t hesitate to start making actions and schedule a consultation.