Perhaps you already know the common emotions and reactions associated with grief. You can expect to experience shock, anger, denial, bargaining, anxiety, depression, and acceptance in no particular order. But of course, everyone deals with these grief associations in entirely different ways. There are other people who can manage to pull through their emotional suffering, while some couldn’t bear the pain.
While you may be grieving, there are those individuals that would constantly tell you to “stay strong,” “things will get better,” and “that is okay” Those reactions are predictable since most people intend to say it in an attempt to comfort you during an emotional crisis. But while those statements are usually well-intentioned, they are not often true. You will still have to experience a fair share of grief until you realize that there is more to it than just grieving.
Grieving Is Not Exclusive For The Dead
Yes, the death of someone you know or deeply love is the common source of grief. Losing a loved one can bring a different level of emotional roller coaster that you often wish not to experience. But death is not the only one that can make you feel emotional distress. You can experience a whole new force of grief when you lost anything important to you. You can grieve the loss of any sentimental object or mourn your pet. You can feel heartbroken when you lost any kind of relationship you cherished. As such, there is grief for a friendship that has drifted apart. So any kind of strong connection you have to something can make you experience grief. Thus, whatever you lost, and no matter why, as long as it causes a tremendous amount of emotional pain in its absence – that is grief.
Staying Strong Typically Goes With The Denial Phase
You often heard people around you saying that “You must stay strong,” that despite all the terrible things happening to you, they say, “You should overcome it.” For most parts, these statements want to remind you to grieve properly. It simply wants to make you realize that you are stronger than your tragedy. But for some reason, there is a possibility that you will use that statement to pretend that there was nothing wrong. Eventually, you will hold onto it and get stuck there. You will have trouble finding acceptance, and you will eventually succumb to the negative cycle of grief. But remember, it is okay not to be strong. It’s alright to cry and scream your lungs out. Take the time away to feel weak for a bit so you can let go of the pain.
Guilt Could Eat You Up While Grieving
Often when people lose something, they immediately feel guilty for not taking care of it before they still have the chance. That explains why they often find themselves regretting the things they should have done or the lack thereof. With that, these individuals tend to blame themselves only to make the circumstances more bearable. They question everything during the grieving process despite knowing the real answers to those queries. It is normal to feel regretful because you might think you could have done something before the worse could happen. But you need to let go of that feeling eventually because there is nothing to gain from holding onto it. So instead, learn from your regrets and use them as a guide for emotional healing so you can live your life to the fullest.
The Act Of Grieving Does Not Care About Time
Grieving is the process where you embrace all the sorrows and pain from the loss of something so valuable to you. But the process requires no time, and it does not heal all wounds. It only smoothens your mental and emotional struggle to make it easier for you to live on with your life. Yes, grieving is not an emotional cure for loss because there are things that will never entirely go away, even if you believe you managed to deal with the pain. The scars will never fade, and you might still find yourself grieving about your loss years later. You will still get caught up with the bad and good memories that can make you feel sad and lonely anytime and anywhere. Grieving does not care about time because the truth is; the pain from experience genuinely never goes away.
Acceptance Is Different From Admitting A Loss
Acceptance is a more complicated process compared to admitting your loss. It is not a finish line that you should aim right after realizing you should be done with grief. More likely, you will find yourself trapped in the worse cycle of grief in several instances throughout your life. Chances are, you will grieve with the same thing over and over again. You might find yourself mentally and emotionally okay after grieving. But when something triggers that balance, you might find yourself dealing with all the sorrow and pain once again. This particular problem usually happens when you didn’t manage to grieve the first time properly. Thus, you must undergo an overall closure so you can finally let go and move on.