Author: Willie Stewart

 

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It is natural to be worried and threatened to be in the grief support network. This may be one of the reasons why loving people sometimes hurt the ones they care about, particularly to their grieving loved ones, which may include family members and significant others. Optimistically, after reading this, you’ll be comforted in the thought that your fears and anxieties are normal and do not in any way indicate that you have a profound personal problem.

Just a few months ago, some family members and friends grieved for the loss of a loved one. I sent them cards and beautiful flowers to remind them that I would be there when they needed me, but I didn’t feel that way. What I felt were uselessness and unworthiness. I knew these significant others were getting into the dark and lonely path of grief and that there was nothing more I could give them but my silent support, comfort, and encouragement.

Looking at these people that I love going through dark and lonely times, I recognized a few realities that were equally important.

1. There is such a thing as an amazingly supportive family and friend network.
2. Having a strong support network is not about just one person verbalizing or doing what needs to be done. Instead, it is about having a support system made of loved ones that collaborate to find ways to help in whatever way they can. Usually, it’s the small actions that are most accepted and acknowledged.

In addition, here are some of the most useful and supportive ways to help your grieving family members and friends.

• Be there for them. A lot of people who have experienced loss say that those who have given physical and emotional support were among the most appreciated. When you say you’ll be there, it’s different from just saying, “I’ll be there when you need me.” Truth be told, this is frequently the last thing someone says before he gets lost in the wind when his grieving family or friend asks for his help. He definitely is not there.

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How can you be there in the real sense of the word? Well, for one, you will show up when your bereaved loved one needs you, or you can check in on them regularly through texts or calls. Even sending them some thoughtful and loving messages will surely let them know you are there for them.

 

• Encourage them to take a break. I remember one of the grief theories, the Dual Process Model, which states that the griever moves from facing his loss and avoiding it. It also states that taking a break from the whole process is actually healthy, and this does make a lot of sense. We all need some time to feel relax and do things that evoke positive behaviors and emotions. You, on the other hand, can be your enabler in this. Help your loved one feel enlightened and comforted without really forgetting his loss – just the feeling of rest and relaxation from all the hurt and the grief. Laughing with the griever, taking him to his favorite restaurant, sharing wonderful memories together, or just accompanying him at home and watching feel-good movies.

 

• Send him something. Some think that giving flowers isn’t all that great because after they’ve been used for service, they’d just be thrown in the trash or let them wilt in one corner until they’d smell dreadful. But, I do still send flowers, especially when I think that it’s appropriate. These are times when I know that my loved one loves to receive flowers and will certainly be comforted by them.

However, if you wish to send them other things besides flowers, home-cooked meals would also be a great alternative. Other better suggestions include meaningful cards, old things that once belonged to the person they lost, or self-care items.

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• Give practical means of support. Anyone who loses someone needs to receive practical support perhaps because their loved one who passed away probably was the one who managed the finances or other household obligations, or simply because losing someone makes it quite difficult to focus on his usual activities. If you want to give them support in practical ways, think about what your family or friend might need assistance with that you can share your skills with. If you’re good in the kitchen, you can offer to cook a few meals for them. You could also give them a hand in cleaning the house or watching over their children when they’re off to work or go somewhere important.

 

• Commit to ‘go through the dark’ with them. One thing that people often say that they appreciate it is when their family and friends commit to being there for them even through the dark path – when they feel like weeping the whole afternoon, listen to them if they want to talk about their loved one who died, understand them when they are irritable or frustrated, and simply accept their loved one’s grief after months or even years.

 

 

 

After almost three months of constant updates about the COVID-19 virus, I feel like there is no way I am going back to the way things were. Pretty much, it is impossible to continue doing what I used to because I am still trying the best to avoid the frustration from the unfortunate situation. But looking at all the things that had happened, here are some of the few that I believe would become what they call the “new normal.”

Leaving The House Without A Face Mask

Indeed, one of the most common things that I see people will continue doing for the next few more months is keeping their surgical masks on. Since there is no cure or vaccine for the virus yet, this is the best way to prevent it. However, people should consider wearing the right mask since not all are designed for virus protection.

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Buying Necessities In Bulk

Now, try to imagine one person that will go to the grocery store only to buy a piece of product. Perhaps before, it is okay because that’s how people benefit from buying only a thing they need. But now, exposure to public places such as the grocery store can be worrisome. Thus, I can expect that people won’t spend an hour falling in line at the door only to buy a single item.

Selling Things And Negotiating Online

Unfortunately, a lot of establishments are now deciding to close their stores, especially small businesses. That’s because people tend to become more practical. At this time of the pandemic, people are choosing practicality over convenience. So with that kind of change in the business industry, I know I will see a lot of ads on social media platforms. Businesses will more likely continue their promotion and negotiation through online advertisements.

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Avoiding Dine-Ins And Choosing Takeouts

One way the virus spreads is when you surround yourself with too many people you do not know. For restaurants, that is a normal thing to happen. But since it is essential to follow social distancing, I won’t be expecting people to eat at restaurants even if the store decides to open. If ever people crave for something at the store, they will probably consider a takeout.

Going Outside The House Unscheduled

For the next couple of months, I believe the majority of people will forget about staycations and traveling. Well, some might go outside their house unscheduled. But that’s not because they want to travel and go to different uncertain places, but because they need to do an important thing outside the house. Thus I can conclude that people will still continue to home quarantine themselves until the development of a vaccine.

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Home-School And Online Classes

Despite every countries approach to strict safety measures to push through with traditional schools, most parents will not risk their kids’ life, exposing them to the crowd. Therefore, I can expect children to be home-schooled or skipped a year of class. But for innovative reasons, there will surely be an online class ready for the kids. Unfortunately, only the can-afford ones can use that learning-teaching strategy.

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Prioritizing Sanitation

Last but not least is the possibility of prioritizing sanitation. With the deadly virus outside of every family’s home, no one would dare not to clean and disinfect their house. For the next couple of months, I will be expecting people to always wash their hands and care for their hygiene more, which is absolutely okay. I can see how people value their health over anything in this world right now. So prioritizing sanitation is helpful in ways.

The COVID-19 pandemic is not something I see every day. Honestly, the whole experience is scary. Anxiety and confusion fill me every time I think about the future. No, it is not that I am not looking forward to the end of this. It is just that I have these momentary feelings that I am incapable of handling. You might think that I possess too much negativity, but that is because the emotional and psychological pain continues to grow as the situation becomes uncontrollable. In times like this, I now recognize the failure of humanity.

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Survival Of The Elites

The pandemic made me realize that only those who sit in the upper levels are the ones who can protect themselves far more than the ones at the bottom. The pandemic shows that status matters in our society. Well, honestly, there is nothing new to this. Even if I go back in the decades of history, it will still prove to me that the elites hold the most momentous chances of survival. That is because they never adequately care, and they never will. Others can argue with me on this one. But my argument stays as is.

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Well, some may show compassion at some point. But it will not be enough to consider sacrificing a significant amount of effort for the needy. Of course, there are those people who try and help others. But I am not buying it. The majority of those who support the needy seek attention. They show everyone they are capable of helping but still consider a limited scope. These individuals pretend to care, but only for validation. When I think about it, this pandemic becomes a way of saying that majority of people are selfish and inconsiderate.

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A Free-Ticket To Survival

But of course, I am not taking all the points from the people of the upper class. Individuals at the bottom of society are also selfish and naïve. The majority of them have this mentality that they should be the ones receiving a priority due to their status. Most of them use their situation to get whatever they want. Well, if you ask me, I don’t consider that and never will I support that idea. Though I must admit, not all individuals in the bottom of the society see things the way others do. However, a lot of them are using this pandemic situation to raise their complaints about not getting or having anything.

To be honest, why would anyone provide for them? Why would other people become responsible for their unfortunate situation? Isn’t life all about choices and decisions? So why would someone become liable for the needs of others if they, themselves, did nothing to change it? Thinking about this makes me sick. The majority of people at the bottom are illogical thinkers. That instead of doing something to make their lives easier, they blame those people who work hard and managed to get their lives better.

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Takeaway

Honestly, there are those people who do not think of taking advantage of others. These individuals work with the passion of helping one another regardless of their statuses and capabilities. There are also the ones who never complain and focus only on utilizing what is in front of them. But due to the situation, it somehow makes them re-think everything they do. Sadly, the more the situation becomes worse, the more they realize that it is all about survival. That no matter how good or bad the deeds are, the assurance of living is the top priority. But for me, it is always like that. Regardless if there is a non-existing pandemic, people are selfish by nature.

For many of us (especially pet-owners) losing a valued animal companion can be every bit of devastating. Dealing with your beloved pet’s death can be tricky too because you might tell yourself that it’s not even a person. Therefore, there’s no need to grieve and cry. However, there’s also the possibility that you will hate yourself for being too insensitive and throwing away the special bond you had with your animal friend. The pain of losing a pet partnered with your confused thoughts and emotions can make the grieving process really hard. But believe it or not, there’s a way on how you will be able to get through it.

 

 

“Experiencing a significant loss such as losing a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job can bring on feelings of grief that can be extremely overwhelming. Typical feelings associated with grief include sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and confusion.”  Tali Yuz Berliner, Psy.D. said. The following are some noteworthy suggestions on how you can cope with the death of your beloved pet. The progress may vary according to the attachment that people have for the member of their family.

Take Your Time

One of the primary rules of grieving is to set your own pace. Forcing yourself to get over something that you emotionally and mentally can’t handle might only result in more problems. Know that it’s okay to take things slowly. Allow time to do its work and eventually, you will be fine. Just to make it clear, time will not heal all wounds, but it will weaken them enough that they won’t hurt much anymore. Remember this – you’ll get over it when you’re ready.

Don’t Blame Yourself

“Sometimes people seem to deny, to be in a daze, but these are all coping mechanisms.”  Curt Drennen, PsyD, RN said. Guilt is one of the biggest things that can prevent a person from moving on. Whatever happened to your pet, know that you didn’t like it and it is not your fault. If you have to tell yourself every day that you’re not responsible for the death of your pet, then please do it, blaming yourself will only stop you from moving forward and it will also magnify the pain you’re feeling.

 

 

Spend Time With Your Family And Friends

Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC says “Your environment, both your social and natural surroundings, can greatly impact how you feel.” The period of grieving can trigger other negative emotions such as loneliness. Prevent yourself from falling into a deeper hole of sadness by spending time with your family and friends.  Allow their company to fill you up and make you happy. It is okay to lean on them for support and let them help you get through this.

Hold A Funeral/Memorial For Your Pet

Is this silly? No, it is not. Just like people, the memories of our beloved pets should also come to a celebration.  We should remember them for how wonderful and loving they are, and holding a memorial is an excellent way to do that. Gather your loved ones and give your animal companion the kind of send-off it deserves. Show your love for your pet even if it is for the very last time.

The process of grieving is always challenging, and there’s no perfect way to get through it. What we shared here are just some suggestions on how you can cope with the death of an animal companion. We understand that it won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible to get over it.

Grief, we all felt it at some point in our lives. It’s that intense emotion that follows after a loved one dies. It’s a monstrous feeling that sucks the life out of you little by little every single day. In addition to that, grief can also trigger all of the negative emotions you haven’t felt for so long, making everything even harder than it already is. The pain is brutal, and the longer you stay bounded by its effects, the more you’ll spiral out of control. We all have an idea and a first-hand experience with grief, but do we really know what it is?

 

 

Continue reading “Things You Should Know About Grief”

Euthanasia is the act of ending a person’s life to give relief to their suffering and grief, and it has been around since time immemorial. It started during the dark ages when there were numerous diseases that were incurable, and mercy killing was the only option left. Presently, most laws and countries prohibit this action due to its barbaric nature. However, it is still allowed in a few areas due to certain circumstances such as peculiar laws and cultures.  Its execution involves the assistance of a medical professional and the consent of the patient in most cases. However, the decision falls to relatives, doctors, or the court if the person is too ill to choose.

 

 

Continue reading “Euthanasia: Mercy Killing To End Suffering And Grief”